I believe there are three main components to winning as a work-from-home professional: Confidence, Productivity, and Connection.
What I call connection, Brene Brown calls belonging. And she defines it this way:
“Belonging is being a part of something bigger than yourself, but it’s also the courage to stand alone and to belong to yourself above all else.”
Isn’t that beautiful?
Belonging vs. Fitting In
We all want to feel like we belong … that we matter. And we do that not by fitting in, but by first being true to ourselves. By belonging, first, to ourselves.
In fact (and I was shocked at first to hear this!), Brene shares that fitting in is the opposite of belonging. Because to “fit in” you actually change who you are.
And if you have to change who you are to fit in, then you don’t really belong there.
As Brene says, “True belonging never asks us to change who we are. It demands that we be who we are.”
As a work-from-home freelancer and entrepreneur, I often felt like I didn’t fit in. I wasn’t like the majority of people in my professional networks … or in my personal circles, either.
So, at times, I would find myself downplaying my ambitions and my success.
Of course, Covid changed this for awhile. All of a sudden, a LOT of us had working from home in common. But the difference is that many people – maybe even most – worked from home then because they had to, not because they chose to.
And now that so many people have returned to the office, we’ve lost that feeling of connection … of belonging to the same tribe going through the same experience.
But that doesn’t have to be the case if we embrace Brene’s teaching that we belong to ourselves first and above all else.
Connection, Belonging, and Self-Worth
That’s not to say we should isolate ourselves and never interact with others. On the contrary, we need connection with others.
But we must not obtain that connection at the expense of our belonging. We must not prioritize fitting in. We must not put other people’s opinions of us over our own.
Brene didn’t say this in the video I shared with you today, these quotes are from another conversation she had with someone else:
“Don’t walk through the world looking for evidence that you don’t belong, because you will always find it …
“Don’t walk through the world looking for evidence that you are not enough, because you’ll always find it …
“Our worth and our belonging are not negotiated with other people.”
Instead, our worth and our belonging come from an inner knowing of who we are. They come from our commitment to be unapologetically true to who we are.
I want you to know that you are not alone. You belong to a vast community of other professionals, freelancers, and entrepreneurs who also have chosen to work from home … and who are doing so successfully.
Be sure to connect with these people – your people. Your network doesn’t have to be exclusively WFHers, nor should it be. But regardless of the people around you, you need to show up as who YOU are rather than trying to fit in.
You will always belong as long as you don’t lose yourself in the process.
For more on this topic, check out Brene’s book Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone.
I’d love to hear what you think about this topic. Post your thoughts on social and tag me (@coachmichelepeterson), or simply comment below!
I share tools and strategies to build confidence so that you’re more comfortable standing out in my online course WIN Working From Home: How to Stay Productive, Connected and Confident as a Work From Home Woman. Click here to learn more.
And for more like this delivered right to your inbox each week, activate your free subscription to the Win WFH Weekly Dispatch.